The Wind That Blew My Heart Away
by Nevaeh V
Summary: Bella finally realizes that she has been wrong all along. Is it too late to make the wrong things right? Starts off in Chapter 23 of Eclipse when Edward brings Jacob back to the campsite so Bella can talk to him. But Edward never leaves. Bella's P.O.V
1. And I Love You

The Wind That Blew My Heart Away

Chapter One: And I Love You

Here I was again in front of the two men that I love the most, the men I love above all, both fighting to keep me to themselves, and I too selfish to let one go. I don't know exactly when I got here, to the point where everything shifted but it did. I loved Edward. He had been my everything; been the one I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with. But something changed; I finally realized that I was wrong all along.

Jacob Black was the natural path my life would have taken but by the odd twists of fate it did not turn out that way, and now I had no time left to tell him that I loved him too. He had heard Edward say his best day was when I agreed to marry him and it destroyed Jacob that much was obvious. I know what I have to do now I have to let him go, I will let him go. He deserves to be free from me.As I watched him turn back towards me, Edward came to my side but I shrugged him off. I had to do this now, before I lost my courage and determination.

"Jacob." I spoke his name like a prayer as I walked closer to him and he snapped his head to look at me and I froze.

"Bella just say it and be done with it. For once goddamit say what you mean Bella! Just say it please! Destroy the little piece of my heart you haven't shred to pieces with your lies." He hissed with such bitterness and pain that it felt like he had stabbed me right in the chest.

I've seen Jacob, in pain because of me far too many times, I've lied to him over and over again, I've made him believe that I honestly didn't love him enough, and that someone else meant more than him, but it wasn't true anymore. That new knowledge could not change anything though, I had made my choice and it was far too late to turn back now. So I delivered the final blow that would surely make Jacob Black, _my Jacob_, hate me.

"You will always be second best, nothing more." I saw him flinch and his face crumbled in pain he stood there letting it sink in, he was too wrapped up in his pain he didn't hear the lie underneath that blasphemy.

He nodded his head and he walked right in front of me until he was but inches away from me. I felt Edward stiffen but he said nothing.

"That's a lie, I'm not second best, I've never been second best for you, but you keep telling yourself that! You made your choice and I'm just going to have to accept that. But before I turn around and walk away from you for good let me just say this. It may not be today or tomorrow or the day after that, but someday you will realize that I was the right choice for you and it will be far too late. So go with him, live forever in your "fairytale" but let me just tell you something, when you remember me a hundred years from now, and you will remember me, don't bother feeling remorse of regret, don't sob your tearless cries for me, do not be sad for me, because this man, this man standing right here in front of you, lived to the fullest extent! The man you claim is second best, lived his life with his heart wide open and even after every devastating blow I still believed and still hoped that it would get better, I may be a little bit broken but I will go on I will live the rest of my life and I'll embrace death when it comes for me. I'll see my children grow, and my grandchildren, and so on. I'll have bad times and I'll have good times and I'll smile and I'll cry and sometimes I might feel like I want to DIE! But I will NEVER feel as sorry for myself as much as I will feel sorry for YOU, because you are the one that will miss out on all those things that make life great. So goodbye Isabella Swan I hope with all my heart that you will be happy and I pray to God that I'm wrong."

Annihilated, mutilated, and shattered beyond belief, my heart had never felt this broken. Jacob was right, I knew he was right I've known it for quite a while and I deserve all those words, I deserve that look in his eyes and I deserve to be haunted by that face for the rest of eternity. That doesn't mean that I didn't feel like I had just died. Jacob kept looking at me searching inside of me through my eyes and as always he could see right through me, because he gasped and his eyes filled with tears.

"You know I'm right," he said staring at me with incredulous eyes as he waited for my answer. I would not lie this time. I could not lie. I had broken Jacob's heart already and now I was going to break my fiancé's un-beating heart. The sad part is I couldn't find it in myself to care; I needed Jacob, _my Jacob,_ to know the truth he deserves to know. My eyes were overflowing with tears and I could hold them back no longer, as they broke free, so did I.

"Yes," I replied, and I watched as Jacob's face crumpled and he closed his eyes in pain and he let out a muffled sob.

"Then tell me why is it not enough?" he replied with a broken man's voice.

I have never seen Jacob shed any tears for me, although I'm more than sure he has. But this scene taking place in front of me was devastating, his pain had always been and would always be my pain, and at this moment it was more than I could take. He would not look at me and I could not bring myself to speak. Everything was so clear now and I wanted to yell and scream with joy that it WAS enough, that it will ALWAYS be more that enough. I wanted to run into his arms and kiss him and never ever let go. I was so wrapped up in Jacob that I did not hear Edward call my name until he finally stepped in front of me with a look that let me know he was letting me go.

"Bella, do you love him?" his sweet velvety voice broke me out of my reverie, as I looked into his golden eyes I knew that this was the moment of truth.

"Yes," I said and my voice had never held such conviction until now.

"More than you love me?"

I could not lie any longer, this much was certain. I could not go on with this charade of pretending that Jacob didn't matter to me because he does. I couldn't marry Edward when my heart belonged to someone else. Edward deserves someone who will love him unconditionally and that was no longer me.

"Yes. I'm sorry Edward I can't marry you," I said, reaching for the ring that once belonged to Elizabeth Masen and placed it in Edwards's hands. He smiled weakly at me and kissed me tenderly on the forehead.

"Go to him Bella."

My heart soared. The chains were broken and my heart was finally free. I turned to look at Jacob whose eyes expressed shock and confusion but above all I could see the fear in his eyes, the fear of falsely believing that I had chosen him.

A smile broke across my face. I had to let him know that he wasn't wrong to believe, so I ran to him and jumped into his arms. At that moment something unexpected happened. The dark heavy clouds that Forks was notoriously known for, broke away to let some sunshine descend directly where Jacob and I stood. We both looked up at the sky in awe for it was truly a sight to see and I knew this was a sign from the Heavens above that I had finally made the right choice.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice trembled and his eyes scanned my face as I smiled at him once again and spoke.

"Jacob_. My Jacob._"

The longing in my voice sent shivers down both our bodies, I couldn't help but laugh at how happy I was even though I was pretty much in the middle of hell, vampires tracking me trying to kill me but that was irrelevant at this point because I was finally truly happy here in the strong, warm arms of the man I'll always love.

I couldn't suppress my joy and Jacob spun me around in circles as tears fell from his eyes but I knew they were from happiness, just like mine. I looked into those beautiful ebony eyes that I would gladly get lost in from here on out, and I had to kiss him everywhere.

I kissed his cheek. "I love you," I said and he laughed his sweet laugh, but I wasn't finished yet so I kissed his other cheek, "I love you" his forehead, "I love you" his chin, "I love you" his nose, "I love you" and _my Jacob_ continued to laugh all the while, and I swore I had never heard anything more beautiful than the sound of his laughter, the sound of his joy.

Finally I lunge to my final destination, his lips and I was lost in them, if this is how the rest of my days would be, I'd die a happy woman. The way Jacob kissed me was like nothing in the world, it was Heaven and this kiss would last forever in my memory for it was the moment that I found my rightful place, the place where I belonged, right here in Jacob's arms and in Jacob's life is where I was meant to be, it was the moment I came home.


	2. Nothing Else Matters

Chapter Two: Nothing Else Matters

Life is beautiful.

Jacob is beautiful.

I couldn't help but think about this over and over again. I was still lost Jacob's strong embrace and heavenly kiss, so wrapped up in my perfect world that I couldn't help but dwell on the simple fact that this is the way it should be. And I would see to it that it will always be this way.

As Jacob and I continued our blissful kiss, I could see everything, the whole future that waited for Jacob and me. I saw how our wedding would be in front of all our friends and family. I saw our journey through the years and the many joys that life would bring. I could see the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children running along first beach and into the arms of the man, who without a doubt would be their father. Jacob Black was my future, he was my destiny and after all this time I spent fighting it, I would finally let it be.

"I love you, Bella," he said as he parted from my lips.

There, it was those simple words that have been spoken countless times since the beginning of time. _He….loved…. me_. Although I've known it for sometime, this time was different I didn't shy away from it, I embrace it with such fierce joy. It was like I had finally awakened. He loved me and nothing else mattered.

How I ever thought that I could possibly give this up was beyond me.

"I will love you forever Isabella Swan that I promise," he said as he kissed me again.

Everything couldn't be more perfect, until we heard a wolf howl and Jacob broke the kiss.

Damn those vampires to the darkest pits of hell! I had completely forgotten that the real world was still out there. But that meant that…

"I have to go, Bella," he said. And my heart turned ice cold, this is what I feared most, I couldn't let him leave.

"No Jake. Please just stay with me. You're already here." I begged and made no attempt to hide my desperation.

"Bella, its ok, we had it all arranged already. I'm their strongest fighter I have to fight along with my brothers. Please, Bella, you'll be safe here," he said then kissed my cheek and I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life. I had no shame in begging if it meant that it would keep him alive; if it meant that he'd be here with me away from all the worldly harm.

"No Jake. Don't leave and if you do please take me with you?" I pleaded.

"No Bella. That is out of the question, you must stay here where it's safe. I'll be back before you know everything is okay." he replied and he gave me a warm smile. But I had to voice my fear out loud.

"And what if you don't Jacob? What if you don't come back?" There was every bit of agony in my voice it hurt to even think about it, but he had to know why I didn't want him to leave.

"I will Bella, this will be too easy honey," he smiled and let out his care free laugh, one of his trademarks. But I couldn't help but be afraid.

"Promise you'll come back?" My voice cracked as he kissed me on my forehead in hopes to calm me down, it helped but not enough.

"I will," he replied, looking straight into my eyes and into my soul. But I needed more reassurance than this. I lifted my hand and caressed his face and stared right back.

"Say you promise."

"I promise," he vowed but tears would not stop flowing and my heart never stopped racing as he turned around and made his way to the trees. I ran after him, he spun around and I collided with his open arms. I didn't want to let him leave me. I finally had him and now he had to leave and I may never see him again. I had to try to keep him with me.

"Bella please?" he begged.

"Jacob if you go, I want to go with you."

"Bella," he sighed.

"And if you die, I want to die with you," I said, with such devotion and fortitude it shook Jacob to the very core.

"Oh Bella, that will never happen." And with that our lips clashed together and he kissed me one last time before he ran into the woods. "I Love You Isabella Swan!" he yelled as he ran.

"I love you Jacob Black," I whispered into the wind, but I knew he had heard for it was only a couple of seconds later that I heard my wolf howl in return. So there I stood, for what seemed like forever staring at the woods where Jacob had disappeared and waited for my werewolf to come back to me.

"Bella," Edward's voice came from behind me. I spun around to see him approaching me. CRAP! I totally forgot I had an audience. I saw Seth from the corner of my eyes with a goofy wolf grin and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You ok there Seth?" I asked still laughing at his expression he just began to howl and I knew that meant yes.

Suddenly Edward tensed and Seth stopped mid howl and he turned to look at Edward. Edward was now in a defensive crouch and Seth was right next to him in seconds staring at the same direction with his teeth bared.

"Someone's coming," Edward said, and my heart kicked in to second gear.

"Jake?" I asked.

"No. It's someone else," he sniffed the air and a deep menacing growl escaped his lips, " Victoria," and my heart stopped only to start back up in double time, _she had found me_. I sighed at least Jacob wasn't here, at east Jacob would live.

"I love you Jake, I love you and goodbye," I whispered to myself but I should have known these supernatural beings could still here me for Seth whined.

"Bella don't do anything stupid. We'll protect you," Edward answered and I cursed myself for being an idiot. But all of that went right to hell when I saw the familiar red haired vampire coming out of the woods.

"What will be shall be," I said, and all hell broke loose.


	3. Who Will Win? Who We'll Lose?

**I Know it's been a WHILE since I've updated but my life has been kinda funky but i'm here and I've updated! Thank you to all who reviewed you guys have made my day, I seen all the people who added my story to their Favs and requested an update and I was so thrilled. I hope all of you can review and the more reviews the faster i'll post! I already have the next chapter done but I have two versions I don't know which one I will put that depends on my Beta lol. You guys are awesome for reviewing I cannot thank you enough! Hope you enjoy and remember I'll update soon enought!**

The Wind That Blew My Heart Away

Chapter Three: Who Will Win? Who We'll Lose? **  
**

The fiery red haired beauty entered our campsite and standing next to her was a boy with the reddest eyes I've ever seen. They walked with such grace and power that I couldn't help but marvel at them, but she stood out most with her pitch black eyes, pale white skin and the red hair that haunted my dreams.

Victoria was here and she was beautiful.

She was here and she was determined.

She was here for one reason and one reason only, to kill me.

"Jacob," I whispered, for his name and his face were the only things that brought me comfort and I thanked the heavens above that he wasn't here. That he would not die today. And I was happy for that.

The end for me was here and the beautiful red haired creature inched her way closer to me. My heart rate accelerated in double time. I could feel my heart basically jump out of my chest as if trying to escape. That would be the reasonable thing to do in this situation but, no not me, instead of screaming or making a lame attempt to run for it my brain had another plan entirely. I took three steps forward and both Edward and Seth growled chilling warning sounds.

"Bella," Edward snapped placing his arm in front of me as a barrier and I stopped dead in my tracks.

Victoria seemed momentarily shocked but she recovered quickly as she made the assessment to her surroundings, she locked eyes with the werewolf and she seemed both shocked and confused as she turned her head to her partner and nodded at him instructing him to go towards Seth.

No! He's just a child, is all I could think as I watched the smaller vampire make a slow but deliberate walk towards Seth.

Seth tensed up, preparing for battle he let out a chilling growl that made my heart tremble, but all I could think was how sweet and innocent Seth could ever be a match for a vampire?

"Riley you don't want to do this; you do not want to fight us. She's been lying to you. She doesn't love you; she knows you will die if you fight against us. She's counting on it." Edward spoke which made him stop in his tracks and look at Victoria.

"Don't listen to him love, he's lying! I told you about their mind tricks" Victoria responded in one of the sweetest voices I've ever heard.

In another circumstance I would have thought her voice belonged to an angel, but only in another circumstance.

"Riley, destroy the dog," she said and Riley, only to eagerly obliged, for he began his deadly approach once again toward Seth. Victoria bared her teeth and hissed at Edward who was now in a defensive crouch and they began to walk in a line. Edward and Seth were creating a barrier in front of me, they were the barrier.

This was it, survival of the fittest; only the strongest would survive, my head started spinning and I knew what would come next, I would pass out but I couldn't, I needed to see who would win or who I would loose…. My eyes immediately snapped toward Seth's direction, I had to make sure he would live, it ran on my account that he should come out on top.

Before I could give it much thought the fighting began and my petty human eyes could barely keep up with the fighting I could only hear the turmoil. I could hear the bone chilling hisses and the hair-raising growls, and the loud crashes between what seemed to be two boulders. I began to concentrate more on the fighting and I could see that Edward had the upper hand in the battle against Victoria. He was too fast and much stronger than her. I assume he was using his mind reading abilities as an advantage and would counter attack any move she was thinking of making. Edward had a century of experience and Victoria was clearly experienced but obviously James had been her protector.

I looked away from Edward and Victoria, in the direction where Seth and Riley were fighting. Seth had stopped charging at Riley and now was standing still and growling at Riley who had a superior expression on his face, I made a quick assessment of Seth and could already see he was hurt, he had blood dripping from somewhere on his body. Riley charged at Seth.

A million things ran through my head and before I could even register what I was doing it was too late my legs were moving forward towards Riley.

"NO!!!" I screamed as I ran towards the young vampire and he stopped for a spilt second just enough for Seth to go in for the kill. He jumped and bit Riley on the neck. Riley screamed in agony as he began to brutally punch Seth on his ribs. Seth looked like a ragged doll as he received blow after blow but Seth maintained his firm hold on Riley and was not letting go.

"Victoria, help!" Riley screamed in fear and agony, but of course Victoria would never come to his rescue. Seth broke through and Riley's neck snapped. I flinched at the sound it made but I couldn't look away, Seth had begun to rip Riley apart completely. Once Riley was shredded to pieces Seth stopped and looked to where Edward and Victoria were still fighting,

I movement caught my eye and I turned to see Riley's body parts trying to come back together, I don't know what got into me but I remembered the matches back at the tent. I quickly began to make a fire where we had the driftwood last night and Seth caught on and began to place Riley's body parts into the fire.

"Victoria don't leave, you'll never get another chance like this," I heard Edward speak and I snapped my attention towards them. Victoria was closer to the trees and I knew she was about to flee, but Edward was luring her back. She looked at me with such anger and pain, she was fighting against her better judgment with her dire need to avenge her mates death clouded her reasoning and before I knew she was making a charge toward me.

I blinked once and in a spilt second she was oh so close.

This was it, I was going to die, I closed my eyes _Jacob, Jacob, Jacob_ I thought and waited for the end.

"Jacob," I whispered but the attack never came, I heard a scream and then I heard the sound of what seemed to be ripping clothes. I slowly opened my eyes just in time to see Edward and Seth placing Victoria's body parts on the fire I had created.

"Is she dead?" I asked obviously shaken up.

"Yes, Bella she's gone," Edward said as he gathered her remaining pieces.

My heart soared it was finally over.

At that very moment though an overwhelming pain entered my heart and I heard Seth howl in misery. Edward was frozen in fear and in pain staring at something far away. Tears welled up on my eyes.

"No! Sam, help him!" Edward said and he fell to his knees and Seth cried in agony. I stood there frozen, horrified, and in so much pain. I couldn't move, I couldn't breath, but every single fiber in my body hurt.

Unconsciousness was threatening to take over me, I couldn't breath and the lack of oxygen was making an impact. Tears slipped down my cheeks and I tried harder to breathe. My whole body shook and finally air made its way into my lungs.

"Edward what's going o…" I didn't get to finish my sentence.

The sound of wolves howling in the distance was my answer.

Ice locked around my heart.

"Jacob!"

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	4. The Cruelest Of Things

**Authors Note: For the sake of the story this chapter I had to change the POV. **Thank you guys for being so patient with me, and following this story.

Chapter Four

Shattered

The sky above darkened, and the wind blew a ruthlessly cool breeze, that froze the outside of Isabella Swans skin, but that was nothing, she could stand the physical cold. But the brutal bitter cold that was taking over her insides was unreal, the cold that formed from somewhere deep within her soul, and into the marrow of her bones, spreading into her blood stream and into her internal organs, locking her in place. This pain she could not take, she didn't, couldn't move it was not possible.

She knew something was so horribly and terribly wrong; something so catastrophic had to have happened for her to have this anxiety, this pain which was emanating from somewhere deep inside her soul. And that's when she put the pieces of the puzzle together; Edward's pained look and Seth's howl that contained so much agony…. Someone was hurt.

No. No. No is all she could think. It couldn't be; it just couldn't be who she thought it was.

The wind blew again oh so gently, and Bella still remained frozen in place a million questions raging inside of her agony crazed mind, her whole being was trembling with fear and pain but she knew she had to stop herself from thinking the worst, she couldn't get carried away, after all it was just a feeling that was driving her mind to the brink of insanity. She needed to know, she needed to ask the question that would surely make or break her, and she needed an answer. Bella took a deep shaky breath, closed her eyes, and braced herself.

"Who got hurt Edward?" she asked weakly, and waited for the answer.

After a moment of silence she opened her eyes and the intensity of her pain was beginning to show as tears formed in her eyes and the angelic face that Edward Cullen had grown to love began to crumble right before his eyes.

Edward Cullen had lived a century, he'd seen much and been through his fair share of pain but the look on his Bella's face was by far the most distraught look he has ever seen in his existence. He knew he would have to live a lot more and lose a lot more to even begin to understand that kind of pain. Edward refused to tell the woman he still loved that her reason for living was hurt, hurt gravely.

"Who got hurt Edward!" Bella screamed and Edward flinch at the sound of her voice but he couldn't say the name. Bella, however, didn't need anymore conformation because her heart already knew what name he would say.

Edward looked into her eyes and confirmed her worst fear.

"Jacob," he finally spoke just above a whisper but enough for Bella to hear.

And Isabella Swan's whole world crumbled.

Bella was sure she was having a bad dream; no she was having a nightmare because life couldn't possibly be this cruel. This could not be reality; no one should ever have to feel this pain, this torture. It was an impossibility and utterly unfair.

"Take me to him," Bella said and Edward placed her on his back and he began his run toward the clearing.

There are approximately 6.798 billion people in the world and counting and no one could feel the pain that Isabella Swan was feeling. No one could feel the agony the devastating pain that inhibited her heart, mind, and soul. Her heart ached to the utter most extreme, she couldn't breathe, but she had to stay together, she had to see for herself, she had to know first.

In a matter of minutes the clearing came into view and she was placed on her feet. She took a look around and made her way a bit closer toward the place where everyone was standing. Every step she took her heart pounded harder and harder against her ribs and her frame began to shake, the faces of everyone coming into view, Esme, Alice, and even Rosalie were distraught, this could not be good is what Bella thought. She looked around and saw the pack members with their heads bowed, and Leah Clearwater on her knees crying.

Bella's heart twisted in pain as she walked closer to where Leah and Sam were. Sam was kneeling in front of something, Sam began to tremble and it was then that Bella saw a glimpse of the unmistakable fur that belonged to her beloved russet wolf, that belong to her Jacob.

"Jacob," she spoke in a trembling whisper.

Everyone's head snapped up to look at the broken girl, but no one dared to speak, Bella looked at Sam waiting for an answer, waiting for Sam to say that he was okay, that Jacob was fine, but that moment wouldn't come.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Sam replied his voice filled with grief.

Bella began to shake her head in denial and tears began to slide down her face.

"No, I need to see him!" she screamed and she walked forward, Sam stepped aside and there on the cold wet ground lay her fallen angel.

Bella froze entirely. She didn't move, speak, breathe, blink or even cry she was completely motionless. Only the complete distraught look in her eyes was the only sign that she was still alive.

Everyone present, werewolf or vampire will always remember this day, it was the day they mourned for their lost friend, ally…brother. They also would remember_ his_ girl and how they heard her heart break the moment she found out that _her_ Jacob had ceased to exist.

Bella finally began to crumble. She hit the ground falling onto her knees and sobbed the most heartbreaking sobs anyone had ever heard.

"No, not my Jacob!" she sobbed harder, as she pulled her hair from in front of her eyes, she began to move forward on her knees and began to crawl. Edward and Alice both made their way to Bella and began to help her up, but she refused to take their hands.

"No!" she screamed in defiance and continued to crawl, finding her way to her beloved russet wolf, to her Jacob.

"Jacob. My Jacob," she said, in a voice that frightened everyone, because they all could see Bella was losing her sanity.

"Jacob. My Jacob," she repeated over and over again in the same voice that frightened every single soul living or nonliving standing around watching the most heartbreaking scene they have ever known. They could do nothing but watch and mourn for their fallen friend but no one could deny who lost most this day, it was the broken girl who crawled her way to her fallen wolf.

Isabella Swan had had her fair share of pain, but nothing could ever compare to this.

Bella had finally arrived next to Jacob she stopped and placed Jacob's head on top of her lap and cradled it. She gazed at him with tears streaming down her face.

"I love you," she cried and pressed his head closer to her chest as she sobbed and looked up at the sky and cursed her cruel existence.

"Jacob, honey, please wake up, I need you. I can't live without you Jake, it's not that I won't, it's that I can't. I can't live my life without you, because there is no life to be lived if you're not there. Don't you get that Jacob?" Bella sobbed unto his muzzle, "you cannot die and expect me not to die with you. You're the reason why I stayed alive all these months, you're the reason I'm still here, you taught me how to live again, you taught me how to smile and laugh, you taught me how to love, you're my only reason for not giving up, so please don't give up on me now. Come back to me Jacob Black," she sobbed, rocking back and forth and his body began to tremble. Bella gasped and hoped coursed through her, the russet colored wolf disappeared and Jacob's naked body came into view.

"Oh my God. Jacob!" Bella half cried and half laughed.

"I knew you wouldn't leave me," she said as she kissed his cheek and his lips but he remained unresponsive, Bella pressed her hand harder to his cheek but he said nothing, he did nothing, she pressed her hand multiple times to his face and tried to ignore the sobs coming from the wolf pack.

"Jacob, please stop this, please open your eyes," Bella begged him; her hysteria coming back because he wasn't responding and Bella turned her head to Sam.

"Sam, why is he not responding to me?" Bella sounded crazy. Her voice was that of a mad woman.

"Bella, after a certain period of time when the wolf is dying, it returns to its original form, I'm sorry Bella, he's not going to wake up."

All the hope Bella had was demolished her heart was destroyed and she knew that she would never recover. Bella shook her head and accepted her fate, Bella wouldn't live in a world without Jacob; she refused.

Bella lay on her side facing Jacob and pressed her body as close as it could possibly get. She reached for his face and turned it toward her so she could see it. Bella stretched and kissed him, placed her hand over his heart and never took her eyes off him.

"Sam, tell my father that I love him, and I always will. Tell him that I'll watch in on him from time to time to make sure he is all right. Tell him he's been the best father anyone has ever had. Tell Billy that I loved him like a second father and thank him for me, because he gave me the best thing in my world. Tell him that I'm sorry I caused his son such pain but that I'm going to make his son happy now," Bella said.

"Bella, don't say things like this, Jacob would never forgive us if we let you do something drastic, you have us we won't let you go though this alone," Sam said and he reached to grab Bella's shoulder but she remained where she was, looking at Jacob.

"Thank you, Sam but you, nor anyone else can save me. My heart can't take the pain. Thank you, all of you, you've been an important part of my life but, Jacob was my life and my life ended the moment he ceased to exist," Bella replied.

Those were the last words she would speak to them. Bella smiled and recited

"_O, here  
Will I set up my everlasting rest,  
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars  
From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last.  
Arms, take your last embrace, and, lips, O you  
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss  
A dateless bargain to engrossing death."_

Gasps erupted from every single soul as she finished her monologue for they all heard her heart begin to slow down and her breath become labored. But Bella said nothing.

"No!" Edward screamed and tried to make his way to Bella but Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett collided with him and held him down for they knew what he intended on doing.

"Son, she doesn't want to live forever anymore, not without him," Carlisle spoke to Edward and Edward too lost in his grief said nothing in return.

Bella heard nothing she was too far gone, too lost in her world. She felt her heart slow down even more and her world began to fade.

"And if you go…" Bella whispered as she gazed at her Jacob's lovely face, as memories started to play right before her eyes.

_The first time she saw Jacob, the first time she truly smiled, the first time she felt hope._

"I want to go with you…" Bella whispered again, and more images fled her mind.

_Jacob and warm sodas, Jacob and his life altering smiles, Jacob and my heart skips a beat every single time he embraced me._

"And if you die…" Bella continued and was blessed with more images.

_Jacob, his breathtaking eyes, his memorizing voice. Jacob's life changing kiss, the touch of his hands, the power of his smile, the beauty of his soul. _

"I want to die with you…" her voice came barely audible to her own ears and she was granted the last chance to see his smiling face again.

Her eyes began to close, her heart she could barely feel beating, her breath gradually decreasing, but Bella never took her eyes off Jacob and when the last image of Jacob disappeared before her eyes, She could see him again as he was in front of her. Even in death he was the most beautiful thing her eyes ever laid upon. He looked so utterly peaceful and she needed the last image of life to be of the best person she ever knew.

"Oh my God Bella, his heart…" Bella couldn't hear the last part she was too mesmerized by the sweet angel who seemed to be looking at her.

"_Jacob, I love you, I'm coming home to you…."_

"Bella."

She closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of her Jacob's voice, his _**real**_ voice.

**Second Authors Note:** This is NOT the end, come on I wouldn't do this to you guys! Remember reviews make me happy, let me know what you thought! Share you feelings with me I would like to know. Anywho Thank you to ALL who reviewed you have no idea how much that means to me!


	5. A Kiss To Build A Dream On

**Authors Note: Hello everyone, thank you all so much for the support you have given me thus far, it means a lot to me. Your comments have pushed me to keep writing chapters worth reading. Again thank you all who have reviewed and to those who haven't yet but have read it, I have seen many people add my story to your alerts and it means alot that you guys care so much about this story. Thank you again, and I hope you all had wonderful holidays, I hope this New Year brings you all joy and everything you wished for. Thanks a million and be sure to read my other story I wrote of course a Jacob and Bella story on my profile. ENJOY!!! **

Chapter 5:

A Breakdown, And A Kiss To Build A Dream On

The images of Jacob disappeared and I began to feel all the sorrow and the pain once again.

_Death, please be merciful_, is all I could ask for.

I never thought death would bring such agony. This was not at all like the last time I was faced with death, not by a long shot. There was no physical pain this time around, yet this was so much worse, my heart was heavy and filled with grief. I couldn't take all this anguish it was the purest kind of pain; death should never be this devastating.

It's this wretched pain that lets me know I'm still alive. I'm not dead yet. Oh but I wish death would be kind. I wish it would come quicker. _Jacob,_ my barely beating heart throbs, as I think of him, he's gone… I die a little more. The massive pain my heart, brain, and soul undergo because I've outlived Jacob by mere minutes, is present and strong. I pray with every fiber of my being that the agony will go away and that the beautiful images I had a few moments back of _my Jacob_ would replay before my eyes so I could once again continue to embrace the kindest of deaths.

It is warm all around me.

Ah, this is much better. I can feel the overwhelming warmth that can only come from my Jacob.

"Bella! Bella please don't do this to me! I'm right here!" I could hear Jacob's frantic voice calling me. But I saw nothing. I couldn't see Jacob in this darkness.

I wanted to tell him that I was here with him and that I would follow right behind him wherever he would go. I heard him scream as if he was in excruciating pain. But why would he be in pain?

"AH!! Dammit let go of me!" I heard Jacob roar.

"Bella! Please! I promised I'd come back. Don't you dare leave me Isabella Swan!" he snarled.

I would never leave you Jacob Black is all I wanted to reply but I could not say a word, I couldn't make a sound, I was trapped in the dark.

"Jacob, please you have to stay still you are hurting yourself more, your bones are healing fast but they are not healing properly. You are still gravely injured. She is still alive Jacob, she has suffered great distress let her mind protect itself." I heard Carlisle say, as if speaking directly to Jacob.

Carlisle?

But Carlisle is immortal, so how can he speak to Jacob if Carlisle is technically alive?

"Her heart is barely beating dammit! Bella please, honey, please wake up!" Jacob sobbed frantically.

That's when I knew he was alive, my heart soared. I could feel my heart pounding fast and strong. It beat for him. My eyes flew open and with a wild gasp I sat up so fast I almost collided with Seth, who was at a very close proximity.

"Jacob!" I screamed and looked to where I last saw him lying. And there he was, my Jacob, with those beautiful ebony eyes wide open looking right at me. God he was beautiful. I smiled through my watery eyes at him, he was a lot farther away than before but before I knew it we were both crawling toward each other. I never took my eyes off him as we inched our way closer to each other. Tears of joy streaming down my face and I laughed at the sheer happiness that filled my heart.

One moment he was looking straight at me and the next moment he was on his back screaming in pain. Carlisle and Sam ran to his side, my heart clenched and the immensity of the pain startled me and froze me in place for a mere second but pain be dammed, I began crawling faster.

"Jacob! What's wrong?" I cried, as I took his face into my hands.

"God Bella. You are the most beautiful person in my world," Jacob said and his face filled with tears as he raised a hand to touch my cheek, I snuggled against his hand. I shook my head ferociously smiling down at him.

"No you are. You are the most beautiful person in existence," Jacob smiled and he pulled himself up to kiss me, but mid air he collapsed again, screaming and holding his ribs.

"Carlisle!" I screamed and Carlisle leaned down and began to examine him.

"Carlisle, please help him. What's wrong with him?" I cried.

"Bella please for your sake and Jacob's, please give me some room to work. His ribs are severely broken. They are healing just like the rest of his body, but his ribs are not healing correctly, therefore, I must re-break his bones and bandage him up properly so he can heal. Will you please let me proceed, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes of course, do we take him to the hospital?" I asked.

"No, I have to do this now before it's too late and he runs the risk of permanent damage, or worse," he said and looked up to Sam. Sam nodded his head as if to give consent. Carlisle nodded in return and looked at Jacob.

"Jacob, this will hurt, a lot, and for that I'm sorry," he told Jacob who simply nodded and tilted his head so he could see me. By now Seth had come to my side and placed me on my feet but I didn't take my eyes of Jacob.

Jacob looked at me and I looked right back and I was lost in his eyes. Suddenly I heard the unmistakable sound of bones breaking and Jacob shut his eyes, twitched in pain and began to scream. Tears ran down my cheeks at the sound of his pain, _his pain, my pain_. I closed my eyes shut and sobbed, I fell forward to touch Jacob, I wanted to be some sort of comfort to him but I never landed on my knees, I was caught mid air by Seth as I opened my mouth to protest, my brain registered that Jacob had stopped mid scream. My eyes shot open and his eyes were closed.

My heart began to beat frantically and I started to hyperventilate as it seemed my world once again crumbling down.

"Shhh, shhh Bella calm down, he is still alive, his heart beat is strong. He probably just passed out from the pain," Seth said, as he pulled me back into his arms.

"It's true Bella, he is fine the pain was just too much to bear, and its better this way for him," Carlisle reassured me. I twisted my body to curl up to Seth's chest and continued to sob.

_Crack._

I trembled, winced and cried all over again as I heard the rest of the re-breaking of his bones. I held onto Seth with all my might.

"What's happening, doctor?" It was Sam and his voice was anxious. The whole pack inhaled sharply and their heads snapped to the direction of Jacob. My heart tightened.

"I have to get my medical supplies immediately, so I can take better care of him and give him the proper treatment. We have to move fast, his vitals are not as strong as they should be and that worries me. Emmett, Jasper, take him back to his home," Carlisle said, and before I could say anything he disappeared. Emmett and Jasper were already lifting him up.

"I'm going with him," I said.

"Of course you are. Sam, do we have your permission to cross the border line and go directly into your land?" Edward asked.

"Of course," Sam replied, and the wolf pack began to descend into the woods.

"Come on Bella, I'll carry you to the house," Alice said, as she approached me, I looked at Seth.

"Go on, we all have to phase anyway to get to Jacob's house," he replied and I watched as he followed his pack brothers farther into the forest. I turned to Alice and she placed me on her back.

"Don't worry, Bella. Your Jacob will be fine," Alice said as she turned her head and smiled at me. But even she couldn't know that.

We arrived at La push in record time. Billy and Charlie were at the house which meant I had to stay behind in the woods with the rest of the Cullen's with the exception of Carlisle and Edward who had volunteered to go with him.

The house looked too cramped and before I knew it Charlie was making his exit, yelling after Billy to keep him updated. Once he was out of sight I ran the short distance to the house.

"How is he?" I asked as I made my way through to the living room where everyone stood.

"We don't know yet. Carlisle is still in there working on Jacob. We decided to stay out here so he could have more space and give him enough room to work," Billy said, speaking to me as he reached for my hand and I took it, "He's going to be okay Bella," Billy said smiling up at me. I'm sure one them had already filled him in on my choosing Jacob.

Minutes ticked by so slowly that my nerves and anxiousness were getting the best of me. I kept walking back and forth in between everyone. I could feel everyone's eyes on me but I didn't care. My thoughts were wandering to the possibilities. What if Jacob didn't make it? What if Carlisle can't help him, after all he has never taken care of a werewolf. I began to tremble, fear and doubt taking me over. I needed to get out of there, so I made my way out of the Black household and onto their patio.

I ran my hands into my hair which was damp with sweat. I pulled my hair toward my eyes and crumbled on the patio floor and looked up at the sky.

"Jacob has to be fine. We still have all our lives ahead of us. We are supposed to get many more days, years, decades to live together! God! I must have been a horrible person in my last life, to have to deserve this. Why must You punish me like this? Is it because I was too stupid and blind and stubborn to realize that Jacob was and is the love of my existence? Whatever the case may be it isn't fair!" I pulled my hair and cried harder.

"I'm sorry! You know how very sorry I am. I've never asked You for anything in my life. But I'm asking You for this, just this once! Please don't take him away!" I sobbed so hard my lungs and throat ached, but I didn't care; nothing mattered if Jacob wasn't okay.

"You couldn't possibly be this cruel" I whispered.

I felt a pair of warm hands touch my shoulders.

"Don't say that Bella. God is not cruel. He is not punishing you, it's just life," Sam said, as he rubbed my shoulders and picked me up. I hugged him back and cried. As I saw past his shoulder, I could see everyone else had witnessed my moment of weakness.

"You really do love him don't you?" It was Paul who spoke as he took a couple of steps forward and out the door. It wasn't a question it was a fact.

"Yes, more than my own life. He's where I belong. He's my home, "I replied. He nodded and smiled a kind soft smile

"Don't worry Bella, he's gonna be all right he knows he has too much to live for. I used to think you guys would be good together mainly because Jacob loved you so much, but after what I witnessed earlier….. Wow I hope I find love like that. The devotion you two have for each other and the unmistakable connection you both obviously have is more powerful than anything I've ever seen. You two are meant to be together, you belong together," Seth said, as he smiled at me.

"But what if something happens to him, Seth? How do I… live without him?" I asked him.

"You won't have to Bella," he whispered back.

"He's right Bella," Carlisle's voice came from behind and my neck snapped toward the sound of his voice.

"He's stabilized, Bella. He'll be just fine. Jacob will make a full recovery. He's awake if you wish to see him. He's been asking a lot for you," Carlisle said.

"He's awake?" I shrieked, as I ran passed all the bodies that were in the way, until I saw Billy and I stopped.

"Oh I'm sorry Billy. You should go first. I know you want to see him," I said to him and he just laughed and grabbed my hand again, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Are you kidding Bella? You go in first, I'll be there in a minute," he said laughing again as I ran to Jacob's room.

I opened the door to his bedroom and there he was, my Jacob, all groggy looking but smiling at me, that breathtaking smile of his. I was home, without a doubt in my mind I knew that everything that had happened up to this point had led me right here—led me to Jacob.

"Bella honey," he said and his voice was music to my ears. I crossed the space between us and kneeled right next to his bed, taking his hands in mine kissing them multiple times.

"Hello, pretty boy. It's good to see you," I said, smiling through the tears that had welled up in my eyes. It was a sin to cry this much in one day, but I couldn't help it. He looked so beautiful.

"Good to see you too, pretty girl," he said and smiled at me bringing my face to his and giving me the most tender kiss ever, a kiss you build dreams on.

I began to sob.

"I.. I...I'm sorry Jacob I…. I….. I…. don't…. mean to cry… It's just… I almost lost you!" I said, sobbing onto his chest.

"Shhh, Bells. You weren't gonna lose me and you never will," he said as he crushed me even deeper into his chest and kissed the top of my head. He pulled me away gently and picked my chin up with his hand as he leaned in and kissed the tears away.

"I promised didn't I?" he asked.

"Yeah you did," I answered.

He smiled at me and looked right into my soul, like he always does.

"And I don't break my promises. I'm gonna die an old man in your arms. You hear me?" Jacob said.

"Don't say that Jake. You can't die, not ever, not without me," I said through tears and again he smiled.

"Okay then, I'm never gonna leave you, I'm not going anywhere not without you and that's a promise. When the time comes we'll go together," Jacob said and I knew that it was true.

Jacob and I were going to be together always and that's exactly where I belong.

* * *

**Second Authors Note: I had to make up from all the angst in the last chapter. Don't worry. There will be more happy times coming up. Special thanks to my kick-ass Beta itslikenature, who is a kick ass writer and for those who haven't read her stories look it up she is AMAZING!!  
**


	6. I Promise

**Authors note:** I'm so very sorry! I have been so far away from my writings and from this site, its so horrible. As you all know, life sometimes gets a bit too hectic and chaotic. But I hope I can keep updating this story in a more timely fashion. Of course this all depends on my reviewers and if there is anyone out there who still wants to show some love to my story, it would be appreciated if you let me know if I should continue with it or not. :-D A very special thanks to the beta of this chapter **FallForYourType** aka Gaby thank you girlie!

Chapter 6

I Promise

I woke up from the bright sun hitting my face, I blinked a couple of times trying to re- adjust my eyes and smiled as Jacob's sleeping face came into view. I smiled in contentment; he was nothing short of beautiful. I snuggled closer to him and breathed him in trying to make his scent my own.

_Making a memory. _

Many times in our life we come at a crossroad and are faced with decisions and choices that without a doubt change our life so profoundly; and most of time we don't even realize it until we look back and pinpoint that defining moment in our life, the moment that changed everything.

Jacob Black was that defining moment. Since the first day that we were reunited after Edward had left; Jacob Black had changed my world, and I didn't even realize it at the time. I had spent countless months overlooking him and making him less. But that would happen no more.

As I opened my eyes again, I saw his wonderful eyes looking right back at me, I made a silent vow to myself that this man will never go through anymore heart ache because of me.

"Hey pretty girl." Jacob whispered and his eyes had a look that I hadn't seen in them before.

A look that was very hard to decipher, a mixture of serenity and peace as if he had found something that he had given up all hope of finding.

"You look different." I quietly said back.

"How so?"

"It's the look in your eyes, like you've found something that was lost to you, it's a look I've never seen in you before, but it looks good on you."

He cupped my face in his hands and said nothing, he just stared into my eyes, and I had no doubt in my mind that he could see right through me that he could see my soul. As he gazed into my eyes, he must have found what he was looking for because his face broke out into one of those heart stopping smiles and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I did. I have you; in a way I never thought that I would have you. Bella, honey, you mean everything to me. I have loved you since forever and I was certain that you didn't want me." His eyes became that of a haunted man.

"But Jake," I tried to intervene.

"No honey let me finish." He took in a deep breath, "I was utterly convinced that I would have to spend the rest of my days longing after you, the girl that I loved and never got to keep. You are the love of my life and for the longest time I believed that I was going to lose you… that I had already lost you." His eyes were so intense and his eyes glistened with tears as he remembered the pain I so foolishly put him through.

My heart clenched, after all his pain was my pain. It was my turn to cup his face with my hands.

"But I'm here baby, I'm not going to leave you, not ever, I promise." I vowed

"I hope." He smiled but behind his smile was doubt, it was very subtle but it was there and it stung. I wanted to cry because the doubt lurking in his eyes hurt so much I wanted to reassure him, but I didn't have a chance.

There was a knock on the door and Jacob tensed up but put on his best smile and faced our visitor.

"Hey Doc." Jacob said

I winced, and blinked a couple of times trying make those tears that were about to spill over, disappear. I got up and faced Carlisle.

"Good morning Jacob, Bella." Carlisle greeted him and gave me a wistful smile

"Good morning Carlisle, Um I'll wait outside." I said and made my way out the door before Jacob or Carlisle could say anything. I went straight to the bathroom and took in a deep breath.

Jacob's doubt stung me so deeply I really wanted to cry. It hurt so much to see the doubt lurking in his eyes.

I looked up at the mirror and I looked horrible, my hair was a mess, my eyes were red, with black circles around them and little bags under my eyes, I turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on my face. I looked around for the toothpaste and came to the grim realization that I had no toothbrush, I frowned and sighed.

"Oh well." I muttered and put some toothpaste on my finger and started brushing my teeth as best I could. When I finally convinced myself that I had cleaned my teeth and made sure I didn't have morning breath I brushed my hair with a comb I found on the floor.

"This is as good as it's going to get." I looked at myself once again and went out to the kitchen.

"Morning Bella," Billy said in a very cheerful mood and I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Morning Billy, how did you sleep?"

"Oh, like a baby, I haven't slept so well in a while." He said with a smile on his face.

And then it hit me, I was an idiot. Jacob wasn't the only one I hurt with my inability to choose between Edward and Jacob. Poor Billy witnessed how his son was hurting because of me just like Charlie had seen how heartbroken I was when Edward left. Billy was a good father and I was sure I had caused him a number of sleepless nights as he worried about his son.

My eyes began to water once again and Billy looked at me with concern. He looked like he was about to say something but I didn't give him the chance.

"I'm so sorry Billy, I know it was my fault you haven't had good nights of rest, you saw what my indecisiveness did to your son. I'm so sorry, I was so stupid and stubborn." I sobbed and Billy looked so frightened by my outburst.

"Oh sweetheart, come here." Billy said with a kind smile as he rolled his way towards me with his arms open. I found myself lurching forward and hugging him in return as my sobs lessened as he patted my back.

"Now listen here, Bella. I'm a father and as a parent, all we do is worry for our children, it wasn't your fault I worried. Jacob is my son; he's the only real family I still have. I haven't heard of the girls in months now and although I'm sure they are doing well I worry because I'm their father. If truth be told the only times I wasn't worried about that boy was when he was with you, because Bella darling you make him happy." Billy let go and patted on a nearby chair for me to sit.

" However, I'm not going to lie to you, it did hurt to see my son so in love with a girl who seemed very willing to let him go for another man, but I never blamed you. I thought if that Edward boy was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, so be it. That was your choice." I nodded

"I'm still sorry Billy, and I do have to tell you. That I promise to love your son as long as I live." I said and Billy smiled and patted my hands.

"That's all I can ask for." Billy replied and looked up when Carlisle entered the kitchen.

"I'm sorry to intrude." Carlisle apologized.

"No worries Dr. Cullen, how is my boy?" Billy asked

"Thank you, Billy and its Carlisle. As for Jacob, he is healing just fine all seems to point out that he will be up in about 10 seconds." He smiled when we heard Jacob yawn and walk into the kitchen. We all laughed.

"What?" Jacob asked looking at me, Billy and Carlisle.

"He said I could get up." Jacob added innocently.

"Of course, I did. Some precautions though, Jacob, take it easy don't do anything to extreme, no serious lifting or running. And I would advise you not to phase for of least a couple of days, if you have any discomfort you know how to contact me."

"Sure thing Doc." Jacob said putting an arm around me.

"Well I should get going." Carlisle said

Before I could even think about it I blurted out

"Carlisle how's Edward?" I felt Jacob stiffen and Carlisle's eyes flickered to Jacob for a second before he smiled at me.

"He'll be okay Bella. " He smiled once again and left leaving me staring after him.

"I'll leave you two alone." Billy said as he made his way out of the kitchen.

"Jacob, I'm sorry but I really have to know he's okay. You understand that don't you?" I asked but he wouldn't look at me. He walked to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. And without looking at me said,

"Of course I do. I mean come on why wouldn't I?" he said very condescending

"Jacob, I just left him. I don't want him to do anything stupid." I replied incredulously

"Do you still love him Bella?" Jacob asked, anger and pain rang in his voice.

"Well of course I do…." I said and he slammed the refrigerator shut before I could even finish the rest of the sentence.

"I should have known better." He replied in the bitter voice I came to hate.

"Jacob! Will you listen?" I tried reasoning with him.

"Whatever Bella." He turned around and started heading for the door.

"Jacob Black! Where do you think you are you going?" I said going after him.

But as always I was too slow to catch up to him. He was out of the door and a second after I heard him howl. I ran to the phone and called Sam.

**Second Authors Note:** Let me know if I should continue or not

Also as many know itslikenature was and I hope still is my beta, however, she is super busy being incredible and I felt I should update. Again thank you to my Beta for this chapter and I hope for many more FallForYourType has been amazing! Again I apologize for neglecting my story, I love writing, it is one of my passions and I hope you guys want me to continue :-)


	7. Doubt

**Authors Note:** Hello everyone I was considering not continuing HOWEVER this story was my first and I would love to see it through. So here I am with a new chapter. I want to give a special thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and a very big thank you to my Beta for this chapter Peyton-Marie James, you were amazing thank you a bunch doll! Enjoy my wonderful readers!

Doubts

A million thoughts racing and panic was taking over me. I dialed Sam's number surprising even myself that I remember it.

"Hello," Sam's strong voice answered.

"Sam, its Jake." I exhaled into the phone.

"I'm on my way," he replied, and then all there was left was the dial tone.

I placed the phone back to the receiver and stood there; palms sweating, heart racing, and cursing myself for being so unbelievably stupid.

Just a few moments ago, I had promised myself that I wouldn't cause Jacob anymore pain and here I was telling him that I still loved Edward. Of course he was angry and upset, but after everything we have been through in these last few days how could he possibly think I loved Edward more?

I heard voices in the distance and immediately recognized Jacob's followed my Sam's. I walked toward the door and opened it. There was Jacob with his back towards me and Sam in front of him.

"Sam, don't make me go in there. I can't do this right now." Jacob said between gritted teeth.

"Jacob. What the hell is wrong with you? You're not supposed to be up and much less not supposed to be phasing. What the hell happened?"

"She said she still loved him, and I refuse to be the goddamn pity option," Jacob said with so much rage it stung.

I was shocked. I stood there frozen, wanting to scream at him or throw something at him. I was outraged and distraught. How could he think that after everything that just happened? I took a step forward, ready to give Jacob a piece of my mind, but I was already too late. Sam stepped closer to Jake and stood a foot away from his face with an incredulous look in his eyes.

"Are you fucking serious? Jacob, the look in her eyes when she found out that you were gone will haunt me for the rest of my life! I have NEVER seen someone look so distraught—so lost; so goddamn hopeless! We all witnessed her lose her sanity FOR YOU because of YOU." He took in a deep breath as I did the same. I never thought what happened with me that day would have such an impact on Sam.

"She lost it, Jacob I mean completely lost it and everyone in that clearing will be haunted by it. She crawled her way to you repeating your name like a lost soul. She cradled your head like it was the most fragile—most sacred—thing to her. She cried the most heart breaking sobs that any of us have ever heard, and you're going to stand there with that doubt in your eyes after all of that!" Sam shook his head.

"Phase." Sam gave the order, stepping back to give Jacob enough room to do so.

Jacob phased and transformed into the russet brown wolf that I loved.

Sam phased right after, and there I stood again not knowing what was going on until I saw Jacob fall to the ground with his paws on top of his eyes, yelping in agony.

So now he knew. He was seeing what everyone else saw that day. It was like I was seeing it through their eyes, too. My eyes once again began to water. It was painful to re-live those memories.

I saw it all again; him on the ground, crawling my way to him, pulling him close, the images I was blessed with as I drifted. His smile, his eyes looking back at me…

I was pulled out of my trance when I heard Jacob gasping for breath in his human form. He was on his knees breathing harshly.

"Maybe I shouldn't have done that yet, but you had to know," Sam said as he tied back his joggers. "I'll check up on you later." He walked closer to Jacob, who was still on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Sam said as he patted Jacob's shoulder. He met my eyes and gave me a small smile before turning around and walking away.

Jacob stood up and turned around to face me, and I could see how very sorry he was for doubting me.

"I'm so sorry Bella," he said, choking back his sobs. He walked towards me pleading with his eyes for me to forgive him, but I already had. He cradled my face with his hands and his eyes were desperately looking, asking for forgiveness.

"I wanted to die." I took in a deep breath and met his eyes as he flinched at my words.

"Bella, I don't want you to think like that, if something ever happened to me, if I do die, I want you to live. I want you to live for me." His eyes were so raw with emotion

"I fought for you to stay alive. I fought to keep your heart beating; for your humanity, and I don't want you just to throw it away if I should die." I shut my eyes tight, not wanting to picture a life without him.

"I'm so terribly in love with you Jake. You have to know that when I saw you lying lifeless on the ground I knew that I wanted to join you, or at least try to join you wherever you were. I didn't, I couldn't, and can't live without you," I said with tears streaming down my eyes.

"I have never felt so much pain; never felt so hopeless. It was the worst moment of my life. I'm never going to forget that day Jake." He looked into my eyes and brushed my tears away with his thumb.

"I need you to know Jacob. I need you to understand that I am so undeniably in love with you, and in no way shape or form am I confused about my feelings for you. I do love Edward. He was my first love, but you need to understand something: You are my true love, and the one I will always want." Jacob only stared into my eyes.

"I saw our whole future together, and I'm not afraid to say that I want it. I want every single imagine that I saw come true, I want to grow old with you Jacob Ephraim Black."

"Is that so?" Jacob smiled "So what else did you see for us in the future?" he asked as he took me up in his arms and wrapped my legs around him so I was at level with him. I placed my hands on the sides of his face and gazed into his eyes.

"Umm, let's see; a wedding with all our friends and family. It would be simple. Nothing fancy, but OURS." I blushed. I was never the sappy kind of girl, but with Jacob I was. It was different but I liked it.

"Our wedding—yes I definitely like this future you envisioned for us. What else?" Jacob asked. He had the biggest smile on his face and I had a feeling that I did, also.

"I saw myself on first beach watching two small black haired children running into your arms." I saw Jacob's expression go from overjoyed to surprised and filled with astonishment.

"Kids? My kids? Our Kids? Really Bella?" Jacob asked, searching my eyes for something. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, our kids." I smiled

"I figured you didn't want kids." Jacob said with his smile growing even wider than I thought possible. It made my heart soar to know that I was the cause of his joy; that I was the reason behind that amazing smile.

"Oh, I'll admit, I never seen myself with them, but when I saw that vision…" I trailed off. "Well, let's just say that I could have YOUR kids. Little Jacob's running around? Yeah, I can definitely see that in my future," I answered wistfully, remembering that image.

"Wow. My Bells, round with my child. That vision is enough to make me wanna cry." He looked so happy, and I felt the same way. My mind drifted to a vision of myself pregnant in Jacob's arms with him touching my belly. Life would be great.

"Well how about we practice for now," Jacob said as he moved his hands from my waist to my bottom and slammed the door shut with his leg, running to his room.

"Jacob! No strenuous activity!" I laughed hysterically. Oh, was I in trouble with this one.


End file.
